


pretty

by kwitegay



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Cuddles, Feelings Crisis, Fluff, Getting Together, James likes Alex, Kisses, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Relationship Development, alex just really likes james, but theyre not dating i swear, idek what this is, im coping, sprinkle of angst, there are too many tags for alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 17:42:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18997405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwitegay/pseuds/kwitegay
Summary: Alex is smiling at his phone, fingers wrapped around the mug handle. His feet are perched on the coffee table and knees slowly rocking side to side, soft giggle leaving his lips.It feels so soft, so domestic and so pretty, James feels he may explode.





	pretty

**Author's Note:**

> warning, this is 2.1k words of unedited fuck all that i wrote bc im emotional and gay as fuck rn. i hope i enjoy it nontheless!

Alex and James weren't dating.

Or so James says.

He likes to be able to define everything in his life, classifications and specificities to make everything seem safe, structured.

He could define his relationships with others perfectly - besides Alex. They aren't dating, though, he knew that for sure

Alex runs a finger over the folds of James' hoodie, absentmindedly rubbing shapes onto his shoulder. One of the shorters legs were slung across James', eyes cast to the laptop sat on the others stomach.

James' bed is too small small for this, but Alex is pressed into him and he's shivering as an excuse to inch closer and James thinks he might die.

Alex pulls out his phone soon enough, shuffling to rest his head on James' shoulder as he snaps a picture of himself with pursed lips and an 'ASK ME QUESTIONS' sticker.

James' beard is in the corned of the photo, which he realizes and hopes Alex doesn't crop out - he doesn't, posting the picture to instagram.

James stretches his arm from beneath Alex's head, the latter raising for a moment for James to readjust himself.

"You're good," James mutters when he's comfier, Alex settling down between his arm and side, head basically on his chest.

"Good pillow, you are," Alex chuckles as he scrolls through the questions submitted. He laughs, suddenly showing him one that said, 'Who are you sleeping with, child?!'

"'Child' like you aren't twenty," James snickers, hand settling on Alex's back.

He clicks on the question, taking another picture of James' blurry laughing face and putting shocked emojis by the bottom.

"Oh, real nice, that is," James rolls his eyes, rubbing gentle circles his back.

He likes this, James observes. He likes watching bad movies at one a.m, Alex cuddled into him, soft touches and hushed laughter.

But they aren't dating.

He maintains that as Alex drags him out drinking and clubbing. It was normally the inverse, Alex reluctantly leaving his editing to go to a club.

But now, Alex was swaying vaguely to the bass of the music, one arm draped over James' shoulder. His eyes are shut and lips mouthing the song he barely knows the lyrics to.

Alex sips the drink he's holding in his other hand, eyes opening to give James a grin, "C'mon, have fun!"

James chuckles and shrugs, taking Alex's hand from his shoulder and spinning him around, earning a giggle from the shorter.

They look like a proper couple, James thinks, hands together and swaying stupidly. The thought doesn't bother him for too long, because Alex is wearing a lopsided grin - he looks pretty.

His eyes are glazed over from alcohol, red lips contrasting with his pale skin under the neon lights. He looks really pretty.

"Spin me again!" Alex shouts a little too loudly over the booming music - and James does, because he's smiling and eager and so bloody _pretty_.

He thinks Alex's prettiness has become an issue.

He's talking, excitedly motioning as he tells some kind of anecdote to his friends. James can't focus on his words.

Instead, he focuses on his hair, cascading across his forehead. His eyes, bright and happy, framed with eyelashes. His lips, red as usual and twisted into an alluring smile. His hands, fingers splayed as he talks, brushing through his fringe.

Pretty. That's all James can think - why is he so _pretty_.

"Get outta my chair, Alex!" George complains as he enters the room, standing above him with pursed lips.

"Got nowhere else to sit!" Alex frowns, jutting his thumb to where James, Will, and Fraser take up the couch.

"Sit on Marriott's lap," George suggests as he shoves Alex off the recliner, smirking and taking his spot.

Alex huffs and doesn't think twice before settling himself on James' lap, back leaning against his chest.

"Boney, you are," James chuckles, a lump in his throat despite his joke. He settles an arm around his waist.

This happens sometimes, it's a running joke, but as Alex leans into him and rests his hand on top of James' it feels less and less like a joke.

That night, James is the last one to get ready to leave.

"You can stay, if you want," Alex says, fingers picking at the drywall and nervous eyes cast on the floor.

"Rather sleep on a bed than couch, Al," James smiles.

"Please? You can stay in my room, beds big enough, just don't feel like sleeping alone right now."

James wants to say no - he should say no, but the word 'sure' leaves his lips all too soon.

It's between one and two a.m and Alex's room is a dim gray, a single candle on his bedside table emitting a soft yellow light.

His bed is warm - bigger than James' for sure, and within seconds Alex is grabbing his hands and wrapping them around himself.

"Spoon me, you bellend," He mutters, fitting himself against his body and humming softly, "You're warm."

James bites his lip, arms stretched around the smaller, "I hate you."

Alex scoots back into him a little, pulling the covers up and whispering, "No you don't."

And James shuts up, because his thumb is softly brushing across James' knuckles. Because James feels a flutter in his chest. Because Alex is _right_.

Things get even harder to distinguish when they start fucking. James can't know how it started, and he doesn't care to remember.

It's all flashes in his mind; the slick fingers, the tugs of hair between his hand, the haste kisses. It's a blur, a haze of sweat and gasps and moans that James wants to ingrain into his skin.

They aren't dating.

James has to remind himself every time he wants to kiss him outside of sex or stay the night - they aren't dating.

Except, Alex wants him to stay over. He pulls James back down after he starts to lean up, mumbling something about not wanting to 'be alone after he cums'.

James teases him, but he stays. He wants to stay.

Alex is the first one to kiss him outside of sex. James is making tea, early morning light filtering through the curtains.

Alex turns his face with a pointer finger to his cheek, leaning up on his toes and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, so soft he's not sure it actually happens. He pulls back, a soft smile on his lips before he takes his mug to the living room.

James' world seems to be falling apart around him, boulders of unspoken truths cascading down onto his shoulders.

He walks into the living room with his own mug, and freezes in his tracks, everything going stagnant for a moment.

Alex is smiling at his phone, fingers wrapped around the mug handle. His feet are perched on the coffee table and knees slowly rocking side to side, soft giggle leaving his lips.

It feels so soft, so domestic and so _pretty_ , James feels he may explode.

Alex feels him looking, eyes flickering over, "Come sit, I'll put on a film."

He figures George figures out eventually why James is always over, but despite a few teasing smiles, he doesn't say anything.

Things ease up, It becomes a routine. The sex warm and passionate, cuddling and sleeping over. It's nice, and James likes it. He likes it a lot.

It's post fucking, a few weeks in. James has slipped his sweatpants back on, Alex's head rest on his chest.

"We're not dating, right?" He asks despite his better judgement.

Alex sits up slightly, propped on his elbow, "Huh?"

"I'm just - I dunno, I feel like anyone who knew what we do would think we're dating."

Alex leans to flick on his lamp, sitting upright, "I mean, we kind of are, right?"

"What?"

Alex snorts, "Christ, James, we fuck, we cuddle, we flirt constantly, I spend more time with you than I do either of my roommates. We might as well be."

James sits up as well, "I don't - I didn't think we..."

He trails off. Alex shakes his head in disbelief, fingers rubbing his temple, "God, I'm stupid aren't I?"

James opens his mouth to respond, but before he can Alex is talking again, quick and desperate, "I mean, I really thought that my feelings were mutual, that you liked me the same way, I'm fucking delusional!"

James reaches to touch his arm, but as his fungers graze his skin, Alex bats his hand away, "No, don't - please, can you just go?"

James feels his chest turn in a way that feels all too horrible, guilt flooding his veins.

His throat tightens, "Alex, I - I'm sorry -"

Alex tucks his face into his knees, arms locked around his legs, "Please just go."

So James does. He puts on his shirt and opens the door, turning back to look at the mess he's made one last time before he leaves.

The hallway is dark as James trudges down it, the only light coming from the living room, a laptop illuminating George's face.

"Leaving so soon?" George smirks, smile immediately dropping off his face when he sees the other, "Wow, what happened?"

James shakes his head, "I fuck up everything," He laughs coldly, "Even the best thing I had going on I had to go and fuck up."

George slides his laptop off his lap, leaning forward and resting his elbow on his knee, "James, I don't know what this is about - I've got a pretty good guess - but you need to do what you think is right."

James feels hot tears sting in his eyes, "I like him, George," He mutters, hoping Alex can't hear from his room, "Might bloody love him even, but the thought of a label on what he and I have scares me so fucking bad!"

George stands, two hands resting on both of James' shoulders, "Boss, you have more figured out than you think. You need to be honest with yourself about what you want, and from what I know? You want him, and that's okay."

James smiles - albeit a bit stiffly - and after a few more minutes of supportive words from George, James leaves.

His apartment is dark, Fraser fast asleep. The walls, usually white, seem dull and gray to him right now. His chest feels heavy, like he left his heart back in Alex's flat.

Days go by. Thinking. Too much alcohol. Avoiding going out.

He talks to Fraser, and no one else. He explains what's wrong with him, and Fraser gives him the same advice George did in not so many words.

More thinking. Less alcohol. More coherent thoughts.

It takes a week for him to decide definitively what he wants. All that's on his mind is Alex - his eyes, his lips, his hands, his laugh, every part of him made James feel warm. So warm.

He knocks on the door, every hit of his knuckles echoing the thrum of his chest. It opens, Alex standing; His eyes look dim and a little sunken, like he'd been without sleep.

"Hey," Alex mumbles, hand squeezing the door.

"Can I come in?"

Alex lets him, walking wordlessly to the bedroom. He sits on the bed, picking at the skin by his nail as he avoids his eye contact.

"Now - Alex, I know things went wrong a few days ago, but allow me to explain? Please? I've gone through a fucking emotional roller coaster."

Alex shrugs, offering up a small smile.

"I like you. A lot - more than I should. Everything about you I adore, and it's so weird because I've never felt that way about anyone. I was scared, still am. Things changed so fast, from just flirting, to sex, and feelings I couldn't explain, and it was so weird, because in a flash I was enjoying what was going on, I liked it, liked kissing you, fucking you - the soft stuff too, the cuddling, the kissing. I like you Alex, and now I know, after hours of panic and deliberation, I want ... I want us to be a thing."

Alex's face splits into a smile, "I think that's the longest you've talked without me interrupting you."

James raises an eyebrow, "And why's that?"

"I like hearing you say you like me."

"I like you," James repeats, taking a step closer, "I like you a bloody lot."

Alex stands, beaming, a fist in his shirt pulling him closer, lips on his.

It feels like heaven after so many days without his kiss, and James finds it hard to pull away, "Does this mean you wanna be with me? God I feel like a kid - "

Alex grins, arms wrapping around James' neck as he presses another kiss to his lips, "Of course I do, you idiot."

And James feels a heavy feeling - but it's not sinking, like it was weeks ago. Instead, it's hopeful, filled with warmth and utter adoration.

Him and Alex are dating - _together_ , and James couldn't be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed PLEASE give me kudos or a comment it would make my day ❤️❤️


End file.
